Sunday, 20 May 2012

Bheem rocks but Department shocks!!!


 Namaskar - Cinema Review mein - main Bhawana Somaaya - aapka swagat karti hoon.


Summer vacations abhi tak jaari hain - aur baarish ko bas kuch hafton ki der hain.
Shayad isiliye producers itni raftaar se filmein release kar rahe hain.
Iss hafte 6 releases hain - aur saare alag mijaaz ke -
ab aap par hain - aap kaunsi film par apna paisa kharch karna chahte ho.

Pehli - Chotta Bheem -Animation film hain -
Agar aapko special effects mein ruchi hain - to Chhota Bheem aap ke liye hain warna nahi.
Chhota Bheem ko milte hain 2 stars.
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Doosri - Apradhi Kaun - Thriller / Horror film hain -
jo ek saath do bhashao mein release ho rahi hain.
English version film ka title hain -Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark. Meri salah hain - dono se darr
ke rahiyye.
Apradhi Kaun ko milta hain 1 star.
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Teesri - Marigold Hotel - International film hain - jo Slum Dog Millionnaire bana ne
waale Studio ki peshgi hain.
Marigold Hotel - Dev Patel - Lilette Dubey ko milte hain 3 stars.
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Chauthi - Love Lies & Seeta - Diaspora film hain.
NRI writer likhit aur directed ye aise 6 doston ki kahani hain-
jo saath rehte hue faisla nahi kar paate unhe kisse pyaar hain.
Bohat saal pehle aisi hi NRI ne ek film banayi thi -ABCD - jiska matlab tha America Born Confused Desi.
Seeta aur uske chahne wale America born super confused desi hain!
Love Lies & Seeta ko milta hain ½ star.
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Paanchvi - Mr Bhatti on Chutti - ek sadharan aadmi ke sadharan sapno ki kahani hain.
Aise characters aur kahaniyaan aam taurpe darshakon ke mann jeet lete hain.
Magar writer-director Karan Razdan purri film mein - hume ek bhi aisa scene nahi dete
jisse hamara manoranjan ho.

Sawal ye hain - ki ache actors ko badi filmon main chotte roles karne chahiye - ya phir chotti filmon mein bade roles?
Jawab ye hain -ki sab ko sirf ache directors ke saath kaam karna chahiye!
Isliye behtar hota agar
Bhatti chutti par hi rehte!
Mr Bhatti on Chutti ko milte hain ½ star.
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Chathi - Ram Gopal Varma ki ek aur police- politician-underworld nexus film- Department.
Yakeen nahi hota ki ye film Rangeela, Satya aur Sarkar bana ne wale director ki peshgi hain.
Ye wahi Ram Gopal Varma hain jisne hume Rakht-charitra, Aag aur ab Department laaye hain.

Pehli baar multi cameras se shoot ki gayi Department Bharat ki ek aitihasik film ban sakti thi.
Iske bajai - multi cameras pagal parindo ki tarha - yahan wahan ghumte rehte hain - aur film ko mazak banakar rakh diya hain!

Ek serious scene ke beech -
bina wajah - irrelevant images ko extreme close shoot kiya gaya hain-
jiski wajah se kabhi Sanjay Dutt ke nakhoon… hero ke joote…
kabhi Amitabh ke haath…
kabhi villain ki chai…
aur item girl ki taangein aur hhoth aapko aake sarpar marti hain.

Mat puchiye ke kaun police hain aur kaun goonda - ya kaun sacha hain aur kaun beimaan-
kyon ki kuch bhi maynne nahi rakhta.

Do ghante aur bees minute ki film mein kariban 1000 bullets - 500 galiyaan - 250 chakku ke waar -100 mukke aur 50 laaton ke baad jab koi hathyaar ya gaali aap par atyachaar karne ke liye nahi bachti -tab jaa ke film khatam hoti hain.
Koi normal insaan apne hosho hawas mein - aisi film nahi dekh sakta.
Ab director Ramgopal Varma se disappoint ya khaffa hone ka samay khatam ho chuka hain.
Aisi behuda film bana ne ke liye
I'll sue Ram Gopal Varma for mental cruelty !
Department ko milte hai 0 star
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To ye thi iss hafte ki releases - agle hafte phir mulaqat hogi-
tab tak ke liye mujhe dijiye ijaazat -Namaskaar.

The review appears as it is on Cinema Review on Zee Cinema, Fridays 9PM.
In an edited version over weekends on 92.7 Big FM

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