Jail Diary 21
29.10.2013,
Mumbai
In Sanjay’s long absence at home a forlorn Manyata had many
a times fantasized that when she wakes up she will find her husband by her
side, smiling. It has happened today. There is so much to share, so much to
tell and when one feels so intensely about expressing somehow one is not able
to express anything. Perhaps it is no longer important - just being together,
breathing the same air, experiencing the the routine domesticity – door bells, phone
bells, breakfast, children crawling around the apartment is what makes the
morning and evening aromatic.
Yes there are vulnerable moments. The sisters, Manyata and
Sanjay break down separately at different moments but there is joy as well of
being together in the present. Sanjay prefers to listen more than talk. He says
he wants to bottle memories so he can think about it in solitude in his cell
later. The family does not coerce him to share his experiences, they understand
it is painful. Often, at moments least
expected Sanjay gets teary eyed and shares moments – then as suddenly switches
off, prefers to discuss a favorite dish or listens to his favorite music.
Sometimes he sits by the window, watching over the garden and thinking. Perhaps
of the time he will have to leave all this and depart perhaps something else.
Manyata wants Sanjay gets to meet all his loved ones and invites
them over from time to time. The kitchen fires are burning overtime – serving
all the delicacies Sanjay loves. She tells a friend, “If Sanjay is home it is Diwali,
if not how can all the kandeels of the city light my life?’’At night before
going to bed Sanjay tells Manyata that if there is heaven ‘This is it’. The
family has asked for an extension of parole to conclude the pending medical
tests and treatment and as luck would have it, the extension is granted too.
Bhawana Somaaya / @bhawanasomaaya
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